Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Setting Personal Boundaries

Jill Sederberg introduced the idea of the golf balls/rice example to our facility.  Over the last year we've adapted it to meet the specific needs of our groups.  I love the visual example it creates.


Rice/golf balls
Tupperware container
Boundary worksheet

Ask patients to fit all of the golf balls and the rice in the Tupperware container. Discuss how the golf balls need to go first in order for it all to fit. Explain how this is like using good boundaries in our lives. The golf balls represent the things that are the most important to us in our lives, our core values, our core goals. The rice represents all the little stuff- the phone calls, emails, junk mail, laundry etc. There is no end to this little stuff. The source of the little stuff is endless too- needy coworkers, family, salesman, neighbors, etc. All of this little stuff will fill our lives if we let it. We must have good boundaries so that we are able to get done all the things that are the most important, and then this little stuff will fill in the rest. If we don’t set good boundaries, we won’t have room or time for the really important things in our lives.

Have patients fill out the boundaries worksheet, which was created by Andrea Call, CTRS. Fill out the first four boxes: I am, I am not, I want, I do not want. Discuss these things as a group. Then, have the patients set two boundaries for when they go home- I will and I will not. Have them share these boundaries and what they will do to make sure they are kept.

Talk about how establishing this boundaries will help patients have a healthier life and better relationships.

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